Subtle Humor



Hello Ladies and Gentlemen… Oops Sorry.. I am not supposed to address men.. I am not even supposed to be remotely mentioned to them or seen by them. I am strictly to be with and for women..So ladies Guess who I am? Shhhh… Do not take my name aloud.. I am the ‘ one who must not be named’. Oh no no I am not Lord Voldemort- the bad guy from the famous Harry Potter series. Although I am equally detested. Ok let me give you one more hint. I am your closest friend during ‘that time of the month’. Yes. Now you guessed it right. I am the Sanitary Napkin. Hush hush.. I told you not to say it aloud coz it is a taboo. I know many of you just wrinkled your noses when you read my name. I expected this though, since discussing periods and sanitary napkins in public demeans our `cultured society’.

So let me introduce myself, especially to the guys who have never ever heard of me. I am the one who help the females maintain their health and hygiene when they are on their periods.. Ohh sorry.. I mean during ‘that time of the month’. But sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing and I feel so because of the way my appearance is treated. Sight of even the most wanted criminals would not be condemned as much as my appearance is. Even the pharmacists who earn excellent profits out of me are ashamed of saying my name. Whenever a female asks for me (of course in a whisper), the shopkeeper and the female customer exchange embarrassed looks and then away from the sight of other customers , I am wrapped in 3 to 4 layers of thick newspaper, then put in a pitch black polythene and then shoved into the female’s bag. If a female asks for me aloud, the shopkeeper looks at her as if she has just publicly enquired about his sex life. By any chance, if a guy asks for me, may be for his wife, sister, girlfriend or a friend, he is totally judged not only by the pharmacist but also the other customers including the female customers.

The Indian phrase ‘women is a women’s worst enemy’ is proven right when a girl speaks about periods or me and is shamed and tagged as impudent prominently by other females. The way ladies exchange me in offices or colleges reminds me of the smuggling scenes in the old Bollywood movies. I don’t understand why females find it shameful to have periods when it defines your ability to carry out the most sacred task of the nature – of creation, of parturition.

One fine day, I happened to watch a commercial promoting me on the Television. I was stunned to watch the female run hitherto without any concrete reason. It showed me flying with my wings absorbing litres of ink. I laughed my gut out watching the commercial. It claimed of 12 hours or 24 hrs protection from leakage and everything. It might be true but is it really required, the running and jumping? Also ladies, though I am fabulous and awesome company to have during your periods, you need to understand that even I have my limits, a shelf life. Many females do not know that I start rotting, literally, if I am used for more than 6 hours and this may cause serious illness. So it is my humble request, keep a big stone on your heart and part away from me at regular intervals.

Image result for girl jumping in sanitary napkin commersial
Like each one of you, even I have a dream. I want to reach every female, even in the remotest regions of the world so that they have healthy menstruation and thus a healthier life. Some people like Arunachalam muruganantham- the Sanitary Man of India would definitely help me achieve my dreams someday. India would be free in true sense when a female would talk about periods and me, the sanitary napkin, publicly without hesitation and embarrassment.
Anyways got to leave. Someone’s come to the store asking for me. Time to embarrass people…


10 thoughts on “I AM “YOU KNOW WHO””

  1. Good… Well written nikki… Nicely explained…
    Not only in this but in all previous blogs… Keep writing… All the best…(y)


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